Monday, November 24, 2008

Guilty Sleep

I have been affected more recently because of the near end of the semester by what I'm calling guilty sleep. I procrastinate all day to get my work done and of course since I am a procrastinator it does not get done. When it comes time to hit the 'old dusty trial' I am struck by the guilt Chevy Impala SS and it leaves me feeling that I have do something productive before I can go to sleep. I try to fight this mystical vehicles power over my ability to fall asleep but it is a dark magic that I cannot defeat. So, I end up staying up unneccessarily late, being extremely tired the next day BUT I do get something complete.
Why, oh why do I have this late night guilt trips? If anyone out there is a doctor or just smart, can you tell me how to stop having this mystic guilt car from hitting me each night.
Please avoid obvious solutions like 'just do your work and do not procrastinate' because that is definetely not an option. That is like telling a smoker to just stop one day. I have had years of practice and success as a procrastinator and will not be persuaded by sleep to end my relationship with this mistress.
So I must redefine my request, can a fellow procastinator help me out with an answer to my guilty sleep problem so that I can indeed defeat this dark master and get to sleep so that I may continue the next day to procrastinate once again.
Thanks

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I Wish I Was In...

With all the recent events at the Wall and Halloween tomorrow I am being reminded of many youthful memories of classic cartoons, movies, bands and characters and I have been thinking "Wouldn't it have been cool if I was IN that movie/band/show". I actually say that words SLASH when I talk about multiple categories.So I decided I should probably make a list of some of these things I wish I was in..So here I go

TV SHOW (Not Cartoon)

THE X-FILES
Not only is this one of my favourite television shows but I feel like whenever I watch it that I AM ACTUALLY there solving the unexplainable phenomena with Mulder and Skully. I Want To Believe, F that, I want to be in your show. Imagine walking around with the incredibly sexy Agent Mulder and even sexier Agent Skully (not using real names because it will ruin the fantasy) and seeing aliens and sasquatch and the El CHUPACABRA in real life. Working for the FBI and having a pretty much ‘do whatever the F you want' status in the USA. Having a gun; Yes! With all these crazy unsolved mysteries being solved right in front of you, imagine all the amazing stories you would have to tell your friends or at bars or as pick up lines. One other great quality would be that they got shot all the time or in near death situations and come out the very next week with perfect hair and scar less bodies to do the same thing over again. I would also like to see E.T. if possible.

TV SHOW (Cartoon)LOONEY TUNES
Most people would say Ninja Turtles or Batman or some other popular show back in the day but I say "Nay". With TMNT you would have to live in a sewer and hang around a rat which I’m sure has at least Malaria or the Black Plague (why is he always sick?). With Batman it would be cool to fight crime and live with a millionaire but Batman is a dick and as much fun as the other stuff would be eventually I would wait till I was in his Will then OJ his tightass when he wasn’t looking.Looney Tunes I think would be the coolest because I’m sure most of you have seen Space Jam and there is actually proof that being a Looney Tune would be badass; just ask MJ. The ability to contort your body however you like, impervious to pain and pretty much life ever lasting. That is something I would love to be a part of. I would also love to bring an end to poverty and hunger by being the long lost partner to Willey Coyote and help him finally catch that Son of a B Roadrunner. That Coyote has eaten anything in like 50 years, WTF! Is WB promoting eating disorders?

MOVIE

Peter Pan (Robin Williams one or classic one)

Let me explain. I thought very hard about this one and would like to list all possible phenomenal qualities that would come from being part of this movie, or more specifically in Never Land.
-Young forever
-You can fly
-Don’t need to get a job
-Your mentor/boss is Peter Pan
-There are mermaids
-You can travel back and forth from the real world to Never Land so you can still watch The Office on Thursday nights.
-You get to plays games and fool around all day every day except when you have to fight pirates.
-There’s cliché pirates!

It seems to me like this is the ultimate fantasy and I would love to be apart of this some day. So Mr. Pan if you read this my window is on the 3rd floor of Governors Residence at Nipissing University so come look me.

BAND

U2

I don’t even really need to explain this one but I will try. A band that has been become a household name in a POSTIVE sense and has won more Grammy’s than any one else, have enough money and fame to do whatever they like; or whatever Bono likes. To even be in the band that Bono is in makes you infamous. The ability to make classics whether hard rocking like New Year’s Day or softer ones like With Or Without You. The fact that they aren’t into hard core drugs or alcohol means they will probably all live for a long time and enjoy all the benefits that come with be a Rock God. Meeting world leaders, celebrities and sport figures on a monthly basis is also a nifty feature I would like to tap into. I’m sure there are many other great features that would come with being in U2 but some of them I probably cannot even comprehend.

So those are my choices. Isn’t having an imagination fun, I feel like I almost was in some of these things.